The Psalms are another collection of someone else's prayers, given, I think, in part, to show us how to pray. It seems to me from my reading of those texts that there are times for confessing God's goodness whether we feel it or not, for offering our gratitude as best we can, for asking God for tongues to praise Him even when we doubt. But I also think there are times to admit our secret doubts, to dare to bring them to the light, and to see what happens next.
and we are the ones with many secrets,
some shameful, some shocking, some risky...
all of them precious to us.
We begin this day with that acknowledgement before you,
you seeing and knowing us, a perfect match for our hiddenness.
Those secrets - conventionally - are about
having done that which we ought not to have done,
having not done that which we ought to have done.
And there is enough of that for the day.
Just behind that - other secrets more telling and risky
and surely more scandalous:
that behind our ready faith comes impatience with you,
that behind our eager vocation lurks cynicism,
because nothing changes,
that behind our gratitude toward you
is our sense that you are stingy with us,
that behind our much prayer is our sureness about your
absence, indifference, and detachment.
All of that - our deep disappointment in you - is signed
by our fidelity unappreciated,
by alienation all around not swamped by your love,
by loneliness not visited in gestures of communion,
by all the intractable issues of poverty, homelessness, and violence that we take to be your proper business.
We will keep praying - but now you know.
We will keep praying, but wondering, daring to doubt.
We pray in all our Friday candor. Amen.